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How many times have you said, “I have seen it all,” and thought you meant it? At my age and with my cynicism, I think I have seen it all. Life is funny. Just when you think you have your world well ordered it throws you a knuckle ball where you least expect it; leaving you stunned and shaking your head.
I am addicted to playing Words with Friends on my phone. I have hated playing Scrabble with real people because they take too long between turns. Tom is the worst! He is a real joy sucker and we agreed a long time ago that it would be better for our marriage that we would not play. I finally diagnosed his problems. There are three: he is competitive, he does WAY too much math for a word game, and he is dyslexic. I swear that I could bake a batch of cookies while he was figuring out his next move while I would have my tiles down in the next heartbeat. WWF erases all of that tension for me. I can just play it just for the joy of it and it exercises my brain which at my age is a good thing.
WWF also encourages you to play with new people. Last week I thought it would be fun to play with someone new. I have been playing with the same people for years and I was ready to see how someone else thinks and to learn some new words. (As a meaningless aside: When I played in college we would award bonus points to salacious words. How we would laugh! RIP Mac)
I accepted an invitation to play with Clarence O. It is interesting from a “word smith” point of view to play (I don’t use compete because I don’t care about winning or losing.) with the opposite gender.
With Clarence’s opening move he started a conversation. He thanked me for starting a game with him. He wanted to know where I lived. He lives in Houston. He wanted to know what I do for a living; how old I am; what I did for fun; did I have children. With every move there was a new question or two from him. He is 50 years old, a marine mechanic, has a son, likes to read and hike. I can’t remember anymore and don’t care to remember any more.
The questions just kept on coming and kept on getting more invasive. My answers kept on getting more and more vague. I am retired, I am old besides you never ask a lady her age, I don’t do fun, yes, I have two children. This guy was creeping me out!Then came the deal breaker: Send me your email address so we can exchange pictures and emails. Yeah, right. I had an on-line stalker! How do I get rid of this jerk? Between plays I formulated my none too subtle response, “Hey, Clarence, I am not looking for a pen pal. I am looking for someone to exchange plays on WWF.” The next thing I knew our game had disappeared—what a relief.
Okay, now I have seen it all and done it all and don’t want to do it again. Pray for peace.